I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
