i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
