did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
