Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
should my penis look like a turkey
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
