Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
