There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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