normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
