I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
