Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
