When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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