the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
