but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
