Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize