Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
