he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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