She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
