He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
