I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i will never coherently bang her
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
