I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
These tits shall not be calmed
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
