I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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