Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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