She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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