I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
