Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
