there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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