"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
