what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
