and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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