i just google imaged poop.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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