she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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