yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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