So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
