When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
