we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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