It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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