there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
