Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
