i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
