I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
