wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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