somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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