I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
