Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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