dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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