i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
