A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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