just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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