I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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