HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
