I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
