I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A bitchslap is in order.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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