READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
