Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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