That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
