I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
