this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
