You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish I only lived at night.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
