brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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