So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
