bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
