You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
