How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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