Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize