If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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