I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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