Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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