The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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