I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
