Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
