did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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